


"I wanna sleep on the curb... Is that so much to ask for?"

by Sam_accidentally_fell_into_fandom_hell



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Based on a "Vine", Crack, Drunkenness, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Most Of These Characters Are Just Mentioned - Freeform, One Shot, Pre-Relationship, Swearing, There can be a lot of Ships, like squint a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 09:58:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19374388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_accidentally_fell_into_fandom_hell/pseuds/Sam_accidentally_fell_into_fandom_hell
Summary: Basically, George being drunk and Joe having to babysit him.





	"I wanna sleep on the curb... Is that so much to ask for?"

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys,  
> This entire fic is based on a short video of the same name.
> 
> It just really kind of reminded me of them, so I had to write it.
> 
> Hope you like it :)  
> Enjoy reading.
> 
> PS.: This is only based on the HBO TV show! No disrespect to any of the real guys!

Being part of the notorious parties was the best part about college. At least for George, it was. He loved going to those parties, getting drunk, making out with whoever was willing to and just generally enjoying the company of his friends.

  
One summer night there was a great party, which would later probably become legendary. One of the rich kids had hosted at their own mansion, which was a great deal different than the usual frat parties, held at dormitories. They had a real DJ and the booze was better than the cheap beer that tasted all watered down, that the other dirt poor students that didn't have millionaire parents, would get if they hosted.

  
George had begun drinking earlier together with some of his friends to help make the party funnier from the start. That proved to be a terrible mistake for George later.  
When they arrived at the party, it was already booming there was loud music over the whole property, people were dancing, drinking and making out. All of Georges friends and acquaintances were there having a good time. George and the guys he had come with, Bill, Frank and Don, went over to the little bar to continue their fun evening with even more alcohol. After downing two shots George looked around. He could see Joseph dancing with a hot girl that George didn't know, while David stood against a wall watching, pure and utter annoyance in his gaze as he followed the couples every move, Skip and Alex were playing beer pong with a couple of other students, Buck was playing darts with Babe, Babe had Eugene at his side, who looked as if he was desperately trying to look like he was having a good time, Johnny and Bull accompanying them, joking around. George was quite happy to see that there was a general good mood over the party and everyone was having a good time. He saw Bill and Don go over to some girls who had been talking about them, chuckling and throwing some pretty looks at them. George shook his head and turned to Frank. "Well, this should be fun to watch" he grinned and Frank nodded. "Look who decided to show up!" they suddenly heard someone say, a voice George could recognize anywhere. He turned around facing Joe, who had come up behind them. "Of course I came, I couldn't leave you here on your own, you wouldn't know how to have fun without me." George smiled, greeting Joe happily. Joe laughed and placed his hand on George's shoulder. "You wish!" he just answered, turning to the bar, grabbing some other drink, George did the same. Frank joined in and together they drank more.

  
That went on for quite some time, laughing, talking and drinking, a lot. The party started to wind down and except for a few people, most had left, including Don and Frank, leaving Bill, Joe and George to hang out together. None of them were exactly sober, but George had outdrunk them all he was a mess, rambling about some nonsense topic and almost falling asleep on the uncomfortable lawn chairs. The host turned off the music that had already faded into the background, as the DJ had left some time ago, and that was the cue for the rest of the people to leave, but George wouldn't get up. "Come on bud, time to go." Bill tried, holding out his hand, knowing full well, that George probably wasn't able to get up or walk right on his own. "Fuck off Gonorrhoea! I wanna sleep here..." he answered slurring, nestling his head on his arms.

"George, get up or I'll pick you up and carry you!" Joe deadpanned and crossed his arms. "Alright geez, calm your ass!" George grumbled and pushed himself up a little, before collapsing back down again, grimacing and cursing under his breath, some incoherent stuff. "I can't, I've tried, will you leave me alone now?" Bill sighed exasperated and kicked the chair George was in, to irritate him. "Alright, you've asked for it." Joe just said and casually put one hand under George's knees, the other under his arms and lifted him. George made a startled sound and clung to Joe's neck.

"Jesus, if I said I wanted someone to pick me up tonight I sure didn't mean this." His voice was tinged with a bit of offense but really just sounding tired. Joe sighed and rolled his eyes. "You don't wanna get up, gotta live with the consequences, I told you what I was gonna do." He just replied and George whined about, how this was straight up embarrassing and how he was tired and how this was really unfair, but Joe ignored him, while Bill laughed his ass off. Everything just got even worse when they got outside and Joe had to put George down, because he needed to call an Uber, being obviously the most sober out of the three. When their car showed up and parked in a parking space a little way down the road, Joe went to pick up the at this point almost sleeping George, who then went into a full-blown tantrum. Bill got his phone out and started filming as Joe carried the complaining and annoyed George down the street. "I just want to sleep here! Is that fucking too much to ask for?" Bill answered that question directly with a firm "Yes" while Joe kept carrying him. Despite George throwing this fit, he basically clung to Joe's neck with one hand, gesturing wildly with the other as he went on. "I wanna fucking sleep on the curb!" his voice went an octave higher as he ended that sentence and that made Joe chuckle slightly.

They were almost at their ride now and George leaned almost out of Joe's grip. "Fucking put me right there!" he demanded, pointing at a spot right behind a car and Joe went on. "No! Put me right there!" he demanded once more but Joe still kept walking. "I swear to fucking god Joe, put me down or I will fucking bite you!" Bill laughed even more at the comment and Joe shook his head. "Oh, you better not!" He warned, hurrying a bit more to the care that was now only maybe two or three feet away. "Fucking watch me!" George answered, leaning over to the closest body part of Joe, which was his neck and buried his face there, though he didn't manage to actually bite, just graze his teeth over the skin and mostly just slobber all over the other. "Ugh, come on George that's fucking nasty!" Joe scrunched up his face as he sat George down in one of the seats, fastened his seat belt and then finally wiped off his neck. He went to go to close the door but George grabbed his arm. "Stay!" he said staring at him tired. "I'm not going anywhere, I just need to get into the car as well." Bill still stood behind them, still laughing but slowly making his way to the passenger seat. "I call dibs on the front, so you can deal with sergeant slobber over there" he commented before quickly slipping in, next to the driver. Joe cursed him silently and went over to the other side of the car. He got in and apologized to the driver who just gave him a chuckle. "I know the type, my own drunkard is sleeping his fun evening off on the couch because I couldn't manage to carry him up the stairs. But Lew's used to it, so there's no harm in that." he grinned, looking through the rear view mirror at Joe, who just shrugged. "Sleep is exactly what this little asshole needs too, so not to be rude or anything but I'd appreciate it if you could get us home quickly" The driver nodded and started the car as Joe gave him the address of their dormitories.

  
They got there quite fast which was actually a great relief to Joe as George had actually laid down, nestling his head on Joe's lap, half asleep, half mumbling some incoherent nonsense. When their driver stopped in front of the park, where the dormitories were located, Joe softly shook George to get him to wake up, so he could somehow maneuver him into his bed. But George just groaned annoyed wrapping his arms around Joe's waist as if to hold him in place. "George, get up, I'll get you into your bed, but I can't do that with you blocking me." George groaned again but pushed himself up on his forearms leaving just enough time for Joe to get out of the car before collapsing again. Bill was already leaning against the car outside grinning like a total jackass. "Imma head to my room, I think you can handle things from here." he smiled, looking over to George in the car again. "Yeah yeah, whatever... See you on Monday" Joe answered, opening the door to drag George out. He could hear Bills chuckling start to fade as he moved away and sighed as he unbuckled George.

"You owe me big time, Luz..." he mumbled as he started to drag at his legs to get him out. He finally managed to get George out of the car, standing, paid the driver and thanked him for his patience. George was pretty much hanging off of him at this point, not really being able to stand anymore. Joe picked him up again, this time basically throwing him over his shoulder. "Don't you fucking dare puke on me!" Joe warned before finally heading into the direction of George's dorm room. "Wouldn't dream of it Joey..." George drawled and went completely limp over Joe's shoulder, much to Joe's dismay, since now it felt as though he was carrying a too big bag of potatoes, arms dangling and hitting Joe in the back. "For fucks sake!" Joe swore exhausted. He was happy when they were finally in front of the building they had to get to. "George, you gotta stand now! Where's your key? I need your key!" he said while putting him down and to his surprise, George actually stood.

"Some pocket, I dunno" he slurred, slightly swinging from side to side. Joe rubbed his face with his hands before starting to search George's pockets. "Actually... Id's... Id's in the back pocket." George said after a while, but as soon as Joe had his hand in George's back pocket he felt George lean up against his hand and it dawned on him. "It's not really in your back pocket is it?" he asked, feeling more than done with George's shit. "Nope," George answered, popping the 'p'. "But this feels nice." he giggled and Joe pulled his hand away quickly. "Jesus, George..." he sighed, wanting to smack him in the head, but he knew fully well if he did that George would go tumbling to the ground and possibly not get up until morning due to his current state and Joe really didn't want to put up with another tantrum. Joe tried the inside of George's jacket and finally found the key, unlocking the front door and picking George back up again.

He managed to get him up to his room, unlock that as well and put him down on his bed, feeling really happy to finally have gotten George into his own bed. "I repeat George, you owe me big time! A pack of smokes won't do much good this time, would have to be one helluva big pack to make this up to me." George just sighed, burying his face in his pillow. "This... Is this heaven?" he asked, turning his face towards Joe again, who just shook his head, a small grin forming on his lips. "And to think if you slept on the curb, you wouldn't have had all this." he just answered matter of factly. George hummed in agreement, his eyes slowly closing again. Joe put a puke bucket next to his bed, just to make sure, looking at George, who was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. "Joe... Don't leave... don't wanna be lonely..." George mumbled, already sounding half asleep. Joe just shook his head, already wanting to dismiss George's drunken nonsense, but as he moved away he felt a hand wrap around his wrist, not letting him leave. Joe sighed, giving in and settling on the floor next to George's bed, he had to admit that he was tired too after all. "No, C'mere..." George mumbled, his voice whiney, scooting over in the bed slightly, to show Joe, that he was making space for him. "Alright... Fine... But don't complain in the morning and once again, don't you dare puke on me!" And with that, he settled in next to George, who immediately threw his arms around Joe and cuddled up to him. "That's better..." he mumbled, sighing content and not even a full minute after, he was asleep. It didn't take long for Joe to follow suit.

 

When George opened his eyes there was a bright light shining into his eyes, his tongue felt like sandpaper and his head felt like it would explode any second. He felt like a piece of shit. "Never again!" he groaned to no-one in particular and was surprised when he heard a voice answering. "You probably say that every weekend, huh?" It was then, that he noticed one Joe Toye sitting in the bed next to him, drinking from a bottle of water that had been next to George's bed. Everything fell from George's face as he looked at him. What the hell was he doing here? George had no memory of the last night whatsoever. "Did you know, you are really clingy when you are drunk?" Joe chuckled offering the water bottle to George, who took it thankfully. There was an embarrassed blush forming on George's face. "I... Uh... What... Did we um....?" he stuttered and blushed even more, and if he was ever smooth, there was no sign of that now. "Gee man, what do you think?" Joe laughed shaking his head. George covered his face with his hands groaning. "You have no idea what happened last night do you?" Joe then asked, beginning to stand up and George shook his head silently. "You got drunk beyond belief and wanted to sleep on the sidewalk and since you didn't want to move I had to carry you and then you practically held me hostage, since you didn't want to be 'lonely'" George sucked in air and grimaced as he sat up. "Damn... I'm sorry." he mumbled and Joe chuckled again. "I gotta say, in all the time I've known you, that was the most annoying you've ever been, I didn't think that was possible. You acted like a literal child, but after thinking about it a little, it was kinda cute, so I forgive you for bothering me. You still owe me though."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again ;)
> 
> Thanks a bunch for reading ^^
> 
> It's my second time posting anything on here, my first time posting a One-Shot and the first time posting in this fandom.  
> So I'd really appreciate some feedback :D
> 
> Anyway, have a nice day (or whenever you're reading this: nice evening, morning or night)


End file.
